Emily Yang

seven autotranslations belonging to no particular order

EMILY YANG

AUTOTRANSLATION

ㄊㄚ媽的      東西是不是   ㄊㄚ的
ㄊㄚ媽    是不是ㄊㄚ的   而ㄊㄚ不是ㄊㄚ媽的
ㄊㄚ鼻子不是ㄊㄚ的
ㄊㄚ內臟不是ㄊㄚ的
                ㄊㄚ手指不是ㄊㄚ的
ㄊㄚ乳房不是ㄊㄚ的

ㄊㄚ嘴巴不是ㄊㄚ的ㄊㄚ   大便不是ㄊㄚ的
俗話說：ㄊㄚ經過ㄊㄚ穿過   ㄊㄚ才抵達ㄊㄚ

說：跟我講話要好好用「您／您的」稱呼我噢！

        ㄊㄚ身體   是不是ㄊㄚ的   ㄊㄚ靈魂
是不是您的

        所謂ㄊㄚ的就是ㄊㄚ的就是ㄊㄚ的就是ㄊㄚ的就是我的

女大十八變意思是變不回來變不回ㄊㄚ

ㄊㄚ越過了借過了這裡的境界
ㄊㄚ停下不是ㄊㄚ的腳步眨著不是ㄊㄚ的眼睛

來到這句話的盡頭   還會有人想起女字旁的我嗎？

AUTOTRANSLATION

他媽的      東西是不是   她的
她媽      是不是她的   而他不是他媽的
她鼻子不是她的
她內臟不是她的
              祂手指不是祂的
祂乳房不是祂的

他嘴巴不是她的他   大便不是他的
俗話說：它經過祂穿過   他才抵達她

  說：跟我講話要好好用「您／您的」稱呼我！

         它身體是不是他的   他靈魂
是不是您的

        所謂它的就是牠的就是他的就是祂的就是我的

女大十八變意思是變不回來變不回他

祂越過了借過了這裡的境界
祂停下不是她的腳步   眨著不是他的眼睛

來到這句話的盡頭   還會有人想起女字旁的我嗎？

AUTOTRANSLATION

his mother’s   things are they      hers
her mother   is she hers & he isn’t his mother’s
her nose is not hers
her internal organs are not hers
          His fingers are not His
          His tits are not His

his mouth is not hers his      shit is not his
as the proverb goes:   it passes by He passes through he until arriving at   she

goes: if you’re going to talk to me, address me with Thee/Thy pronouns!

       its body       is it his       his spirit
is it thine

       the so-called its is in fact animal’s is in fact his in fact His in fact mine

a woman ripening at eighteen means unable to change back unable to change
back to them to him

He overcame   excused Himself to   this here’s frontier
He halts the footsteps that are not hers      blinks the eyes that are not his

& at the end of this sentence

will there still be people thinking of the me whose
rootradical
was woman?

AUTOTRANSLATION

their(neutralmasculine) mother’s/fuck      things are they      theirs(feminine)
their(fem) mother      are they(fem) theirs(fem)   & they(neumasc) aren’t
their(neumasc) mother’s

their(fem) nose is not theirs(fem)
their(fem) internal organs are not theirs(fem)
                their(divine) fingers are not theirs(divine)
                   their(divine) milkhouse is not theirs(divine)

their(neumasc) mouth is not theirs(fem) their(neumasc)        shit is not theirs(neumasc)
as the proverb goes:   they(object) pass by they(divine) pass through they(neumasc) until
arriving at      they(fem)

go: if ur gonna talk to me, address me with you/yours(formalneumasc) pronouns!

             their(object) body      is it theirs(neumasc)   their(neumasc) spirit
is it yours(formal)

        the so-called theirs(object) is in fact theirs(animal) is in fact theirs(neumasc) in fact
theirs(divine) in fact mine

a woman ripening at eighteen means unable to change back unable to change
back to theirs(neumasc)

they(divine) overcame   borrowed past this here’s frontier

they(divine) halt the footsteps that are not theirs(fem)      blink the eyes that are not
theirs(neumasc)

& at the end of this(sentence) talk

will any of them(human) still be thinking of me(fem)?

AUTOTRANSLATION

ㄊㄚ媽の      東西是不是   ㄊㄚの
ㄊㄚ媽      是不是ㄊㄚの   而ㄊㄚ不是ㄊㄚ媽の
ㄊㄚ鼻子不是ㄊㄚの
ㄊㄚ內臟不是ㄊㄚの
              ㄊㄚ手指不是ㄊㄚの
ㄊㄚ乳房不是ㄊㄚの

ㄊㄚ嘴巴不是ㄊㄚのㄊㄚ   大便不是ㄊㄚの
俗話說：ㄊㄚ經過ㄊㄚ穿過   ㄊㄚ才抵達ㄊㄚ

說：跟我講話要好好用「您／您の」稱呼我！

      ㄊㄚ身體   是不是ㄊㄚの   ㄊㄚ靈魂
是不是您の

      所謂ㄊㄚの就是ㄊㄚの就是ㄊㄚの就是ㄊㄚの就是我の

女大十八變意思是變不回來變不回ㄊㄚ

ㄊㄚ越過了借過了這裡的境界
ㄊㄚ停下不是ㄊㄚの腳步   眨著不是ㄊㄚの眼睛

  來到這句話の盡頭   還會有人想起女字旁の我嗎？

AUTOTRANSLATION

ta(neutralmasculine) mother no things are they    ta(feminine) no
ta(fem) mother      is ta(fem) ta(fem) no   & ta(neumasc) is not ta(neumasc) mother
no

ta(fem) nose is not ta(fem) no
ta(fem) internal organs are not ta(fem) no
                ta(divine) fingers are not ta(divine) no
                ta(divine) breasts are not ta(divine) no

ta(neumasc) no mouth is not ta(fem) no ta(neumasc) no        shit is not ta(neumasc) no
as the proverb goes:   ta(object) passes by ta(divine) passes through ta(neumasc) until
arriving at      ta(fem)

goes: if ur gonna talk to me, address me with ning/ning(neumasc) no pronouns!

        ta(object) no body        is it ta(neumasc) no   ta(neumasc) no spirit
is it ning no

      the so-called ta(object) no is in fact ta(animal) no is in fact ta(neumasc) no
in fact ta(divine) no in fact me no

a woman ripening at eighteen means unable to change back unable to change
back to ta(neumasc) no

ta(divine) overcame   borrowed past   this here’s frontier
ta(divine) halts the footsteps that are not ta(fem) no      blinks the eyes that are not ta(neumasc) no

& at the end of this(sentence) talk

will any of them(human) still be thinking of the me next
to the word
woman?

AUTOTRANSLATION

她mother’s   things are they      她的
她mother is she 她的   & 她 isn’t 她媽的
她nose is not 她的
她 internal organs are not 她的
            她fingers are not 她的
            她tits are not 她的

她mouth is not 她的她        shit is not 她的

as the proverb goes:   她passes by 她passes through 她until arriving at 她

goes: if you’re going to talk to me, address me with 您/您的 pronouns!

      她的body      is it 她的      她的spirit
is it 您的

      the so-called 她的 is in fact 她的 is in fact 她的 in fact 她的 in fact 我的

a woman ripening at eighteen means unable to change back unable to change
back to human

她overcame   excused 她 to this here’s frontier
她halts the footsteps that are not 她的      blinks the eyes that are not 她的

  & at the end of this sentence

will there still be people thinking of the me whose
rootradical
  was other?

author/translator’s note

it’s somewhat passé at this point to dwell on the fact that all pronouns in mandarin—whether for Woman, Man, Animal, Divine Being, or Object—sound the same, so i won’t. instead, a lesser known fact for non-mandarin speakers/readers: the “gender neutral” pronoun for humans in chinese is mainly coded as male, and its root radical (the left side of the character in this case) is “human.” conversely, the non-gender-neutral pronoun for humans, the one exclusively used for women, has the root radical “woman”—the root itself being a character like many roots, one deriving from oracle bone script meant to depict a pregnant person. (don’t worry, its modern form allows for much more breathing room between signifier & signified.)

biological essentialism aside, i am interested in the fact that this etymology implies that woman is something other than human, that woman cannot be neutral. while i have never been particularly invested in being girl or woman, it’s where i began, & in chinese the pronoun 她 is a hometown where i choose to remain. here, i want to lean into what it means to be not-human, not-neutral. i want to embody the otherness i’ve been consigned to, this otherness that, when activated in critically imaginative strokes, can perhaps pose a threat to the (linguistic, socioeconomic, racial, colonial, etc.) order, a threat that cannot be neutralized.

it’s my hope that these autotranslations for which there is no “original text” activate & alienate, disrupt & titillate the muscled fast-track from the body to the spoken or written pronoun; that they might help illuminate & obfuscate the already-complicated networks that lie between the slippery, vibrant, & tedious realities of living in gendered/colonized bodies and the tongue, on which sit the names we (don’t) choose to be remembered by.

Emily Yang/楊佳諭 was raised in Taipei, Taiwan and, for better and for worse, holds American citizenship. Their work has been featured or is forthcoming in the Margins, the Adroit Journal, Waxwing, Passages North, and Puerto del Sol, where they won the 2020 Prose Contest. She is always missing papaya milk and her bidet, and she tweets unprofessionally @taromilkpng.

THE AUTHOR ON MUSCLE MEMORY
like language, gender is a muscle to be flexed & shrunk & tended to, or not.

& ON WHAT IT MEANS TO BE KALEIDOSCOPED
to "be kaleidoscoped" is to embody the splitting the breakage the faultlines between / within languages !